There is Fault in our Truth
by The Lady J
Summary: my life was going well, 2 weeks till my wedding and i was happy. how did it all fall apart? how did it all get so screwed up! Poor Alice didnt see this coming do you? Edward, Jake, Bella, Jasper and Alice.
1. Prologue

**ok so here is my newest story. i hope you like it. its just starting out and i have never done a prologue before before but i wanted to see what people though of it first. if y'all dont want me to continue then i wont and may just make it into a one shot but for now i want it to be a long story. that would mean i am working on 3 stories at the same time and while a.c.e is almost done my beta might just kill me me. so while you are waiting for for updates on this story check out my other stories as well as my beta Megara Megumi's story a werewolf in outerspace (its a working title) its team jacob but its very good. i am not say that because its her's either i am saying it cause really its the only jakella story i like. **

**ok so enjoy!**

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**There Is Fault in Our Truths**

**Prologue**

We are all fake. Each and every one of us false. Human, vampire and werewolf alike. All fake. We are all at fault, and we are all hypocrites. Liars to each other and to ourselves. We scheme and deface everything we have ever wanted or needed. None of us better than the other, none of us worse than the other. We have lied to our loved ones and will continue to do so as long as we have a conscious mind. There is no way around that. Countless people before us have fallen pray to deceit and millions will continue to be victims after we are dead. It is our lot in life.

We lie to get what we want. We lie to 'save our loved ones from the truth'. Some lie to protect themselves from shame like the self-righteous sanctimonious bronze haired bastard that sits to my right. Some lie to themselves and pretend to be something they are not, like the russet skinned, ebony haired prick to my left. Others lie to the people around them because they think its what those people want to hear, like the blond haired brooding southern gentleman pain in my ass behind me. And still others lie because they think its keeping their loved ones safe, like me, the girl in the middle of it all, who sits in her wedding dress next to her fiancé, her best friend, and her maid of honors ex-husband. We are all at fault for this. Well, all except Alice, my maid of honor. Standing before us with shame evident on her face, shame and pain as she looks down her nose at the four of us and the path of destruction that we have each and everyone of us weaved through her once perfect life. I feel bad for her, she did nothing to deserve this. All she ever was, was a supportive sister, and wife. Poor thing didn't see this coming did you?

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**ok i know it was short but its a prologue they are always short! that being said please review cause i may not continue this story if i dont get people wanting it. so hit that green button and tell it sucks or tell me it rocks. tell me anything hell tell me the sky is green and the grass is gold just review!**

**ok i think i have begged enough!**


	2. 1 Projections

**I want to thank all of you who read and review the prologue and who have waited patiently for me to get my shit together on this story. I have so much planned for this story and I promise it will not be what you expect. Unless you are ubber awesome!**

**My regular Beta has recently had a death in the family so Jaspers Izzy was the beta for this chapter. She did an awesome job and I may use her more.**

**I really hope you enjoy this story.**

**I own nothing though I wish I did. I would take Jasper in a heartbeat and never let him go lol.

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Chapter 1

Projection

_I was in a beautiful meadow, one I was sure I had seen before, but I couldn't place it. It wasn't the one I had been most familiar with. It wasn't my meadow. It was more beautiful than the one I was used to. I knew it was Washington, somewhere in or on the outskirts of Forks, but still didn't know exactly where I was. There were amazing colors all around me. Bright jades and kellies, a few olives and even more forest greens in all different hues. They were the most vivid colors I had ever seen before. It was as if I was looking through some supernatural being's eyes. The sun was shining through the canopy of leaves and I could see the rainbows bouncing off the dewdrops on the trees. I turned around to look at all the colors surrounding me and was awestruck by the god that was standing before me._

_Standing there with no shirt on was a man I knew but had never truly looked at before. He was tall, around 6'3 and was lean but muscular at the same time, the sun was bouncing off of his skin as if it were made of millions of tiny diamonds. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life. He had blond wavy hair and the craziest colored eyes I had ever seen before. It wasn't a color of eyes found in nature nor was it the color I was used to seeing on beings like him. They were a strange gold, but they had a lot of orange in them. I guess you could say they were an amber color, but with a ring of blood red around them. He had recently slipped, of that I was sure. I knew looking into his eyes I should be scared for my life, but I just couldn't bring myself to feel fear. He moved forward at an almost inhumanly slow speed, it seemed to take forever for him to reach me. I felt his ice cold hand wrap around my back and even though he was so cold I felt a fire erupt where he had touched me. He pulled me close to him and leaned down, I could feel his full plump limps on my neck, and his cheek brushed mine as he spoke._

_"Bella, my sweet are you ready to die?" his voice was soft like silk and sent a chill down my spine. Of course I was ready. If it meant I would die by his hands I would gladly welcome death. I let out a slow moan and nodded my head. "Good, because when we are finished here, you will be joining me in the after life."_

_"Jasper." I breathed, "I need you. I need to feel you inside of me." as the words fell from my mouth, I felt him press his body closer to mine. I could feel his erection press into my hips as he bent down to kiss my neck. The feel of his cock touching me sent a wave of desire straight to my core, and I could feel his smile against my neck._

_"I need you too, just as badly darlin'." He said as his hands moved from the small of my back to the hem of my shirt. He broke the kisses he was lavishing all over my body only to remove my shirt, then his lips found mine and we were once again fighting for dominance. I let him win as his tongue darted out and traced my bottom lip, asking for what I so desperately wanted. I opened my mouth to allow entrance and the feeling of his ice cold tongue battling with my over heated one was amazing. I had never felt anything like that. Nor had I tasted anything quite like him. He tasted like apples and cinnamon, like a baked pie and sandalwood with just a hint of evergreen. It was the best taste in the world. I could have lived off of his flavor for the rest of my life._

_My hands roamed freely over his body, tracing the contours of his stone chiseled muscles. I could feel the tiny scars that plagued his beautiful skin. His skin didn't bother me; I liked him just the way he was._

_My hands found their way to his jeans, and I couldn't stop myself. It was as if someone else had taken over my body. I unbuttoned the jeans allowing the zipper to slip down on its own in the process. Letting go of the pants I watched as they slid down his beautiful, long, lean legs and came to rest in a pool at his feel. I noticed then that he had decided not to wear underwear. Clothed Jasper was breathtakingly stunning, but naked, was like seeing a sunset for the first time in your life. Like finally seeing the world after being blind all your life. He was the most amazing creature I had ever seen and looking into his eyes made me feel like I was home. When he stepped out of the puddle of clothing I was able to take in all 6'3 of his naked form and it was a sight I was not prepared for. I could feel my knees grow weak with anticipation. How I desperately wanted to feel every inch of my body touching his. Sensing that my legs wouldn't be able to hold me much longer, Jasper's arm snaked around my waist keeping me standing while his other hand moved to my jeans. In the blink of an eye I was no longer wearing any clothing. Standing in the meadow bare before my god should have made me feel self-conscious, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Jasper closed the minimal distance between us by scooping me in to a strong embrace. My legs instinctively went around his waist, my back pressed against a tree, and I crushed my lips to his so forcefully that I was sure they would bruise. My hands were wound tightly in his hair and I could feel his rock hard member pressing at my entrance. One hand stayed my hip while the other found my right breast and started massaging it. As his cold hand moved sensually over the flesh, I felt my nipple pebble rather painfully._

_Suddenly I found myself on my back in a bed of soft grass with the most fragrant wild flowers around my head. Looking up at the sky my view was obstructed by the beautiful visage of Jasper Whitlock. The amazing creature above me was trailing white-hot kisses down my body. His hands moved up my legs to the inside of my thigh and across my over heated sex. As he slid one of his long thin fingers up my slick folds my hips bucked involuntarily, and I closed my eyes at the sensation. I felt his finger enter me, and my stomach tightened as if Jasper was pulling on a string inside of me. I gasped at the feeling Jasper had brought upon me and opened my eyes to look at him but he was gone. I couldn't see anything. It was pitch black! Wasn't I just in the sun in a meadow?_

"Shit!" I muttered under my breath, as I lay panting. Sweat dripping from my brow. These dreams were getting more and more vivid and real as the days went on. It was starting to drive me nuts.

The dreams started right after the fight with Victoria and I still don't understand why. I understand that I am sexually frustrated! I mean its not all that surprising when your vampire fiancé wont move passed 1st base. We have never even kissed open mouthed how lame is that? So I understand the need for sex dreams, it seems that that's the only way I have to deal. What I don't understand is why Jasper has suddenly become my leading man? Ever since the break up of Jasper and Alice right after the fight, my mind has been wondering to the beautiful blond Texan more often then not. I know its not right and I try very hard not to think about him in the waking hours but I have no control over my dreams and I have never been so glad that Edward couldn't read my mind. But perhaps an even stranger thing is that Edward could no longer read Jasper's mind either. Though I got the feeling Jasper was very pleased by this turn of events. Edward on the other hand was pissed. He just knew Jasper was "hiding" something, though for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was or why he thought Jasper felt the need to do so."

So add my weird ass dreams, the fact that Jasper's mind is suddenly blocked, Alice and his break up and the fact that Edward thinks Jasper is hiding something and you have a very confused Bella.

Unfortunately for me, I seem to have a lot of time on my hands to dwell on all of the strange goings on. You see, no one is ever around. Edward is always off on some "family business" though no one in the family can tell me what that means. I suspect its because no one actually knows what he is doing. I don't have other friends to really hang out with because of Edward. I have slowly been cutting everyone out of my life. My La Push friends I can kind of understand. They after all are werewolves and according to Edward "they are dangerous." That's the answer he gives me every time I try to convince him to let me go to the res. Unfortunately I can't really argue with his reasoning. He has a point and with Emily to parade around, his point comes across loud and clear even to me. Emily is the girlfriend of Sam, the leader of the werewolf pack. One day while still new to the whole _I change in to a werewolf_ thing Sam got angry and it triggered his transformation. Unfortunately for Emily she was too near him and he attacked her. Leaving 4 gouge marks down the left side of her face, in a distinct claw impression. The story on the reservation is that she was mauled by a bear but those of us close to her know the truth.

Edward's reasons for keeping me away from all of my other friends was, if nothing, weak. I wasn't allowed to see any of my friends from high school as I would be becoming a vampire and I needed to distance myself. While I truly wanted to become a vampire and live the rest of my life with the Cullen's, I in no way believed Edward would ever allow me to become one. So his argument about me staying away from my friends felt like a lie and just something he said to appease me.

Alice wasn't around anymore either. After the fight with Victoria, things got really strange. I mean like freaky weird. Alice and Jasper shocked the shit out of everyone (even Edward) by announcing that they were filing for divorce. But the weirdest part was that suddenly Alice could no longer see her future. Everything got all screwed up. She had a vision of Jasper and her no longer together and after that everything when fuzzy as she says. At first she though it was because of the wolves but she could still she Rose and Emmett, and Carlisle and Esme. Jasper and her and Edward and I for that matter have all but disappeared. Though from what I understand, she lost Edward's future before the battle.

She doesn't trust any of her visions that she does get so there is no point to even asking her what she sees when she goes into one of her crazy trances. The last clear vision she had was of the demise of her relationship with Jasper.

I don't even know what the vision was about and neither does Edward. Alice wouldn't let him into her head and that annoyed him. I personally believed that it was their lives and their choices and they shouldn't have to tell Edward. I am curious but I have never asked what happened. All Alice would say was that she saw them both happy with other people she just couldn't see who they were with or when it was going to happen. Always the cryptic little death pixie. All I really know is that right after her little announcement Alice went gallivanting off to find her future. _Whatever the hell that means._

My only other real friend, make that my best friend is Jacob Black. Jacob Black, however, is a werewolf and I am not allowed to see him. Like that even matters at this point anyway. Upon hearing the news of my engagement Jacob took off to parts of the country unknown. I don't really blame him. I am sure it came as a bit of a shock to find out that your best friend in the whole world was marrying your mortal (or rather immortal) enemy. Everyone knows that vampires and werewolves don't get along but I really think that the hatred between these guys is just a bit over kill. Edward couldn't be happier that Jacob is out of my life but I feel like a piece of me is missing with out him. He was my sunshine. He knew how to make me happy and how to lighten the mood when I needed it. He always knew just what I needed, even if that was just to be left alone. And now when I really need him he is nowhere. He has been gone almost as long as Alice and Edward. I haven't seen him since he left nor have I seen Alice though she calls to check up on the wedding and Edward pops in about once a week. With Jacob, it's been a solid nothing for about 3 months. Sure, I check in with the pack, but they don't have much to tell me. I am pretty sure that Sam (the leader) has forbidden them to tell me anything really important.

I try to check in with Seth once a week. He is always the one that is willing to give me the information that he has and can actually give out. Every now and then I talk to Quil or Embry, but Seth is the only one that doesn't blame me for anything. He is also the only one that doesn't let the fact that the Cullen's are vampires bother him. He is youngest in the group and the most open minded. However when ever I do call its mostly the same information just different days. "We don't know where he is." "He wont transform so we cant get a lock on his mind." "When he does transform he is blocking his mind." "Sorry Bells, no news." GAH, I was going to go crazy.

Emmett and Rosalie where away on yet another honeymoon and Carlisle was always at work so that really only left Esme and Jasper.

Alice had left Esme in charge of planning the wedding (which in itself was odd) so she was always doing something involving the wedding. While I was excited to be getting married to Edward I truly didn't give a damn if it was in a church or city hall. Hell I could be in jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops for all I cared. Alice and Esme however would have aneurysms (if that's possible for a vampire) if I were to get married like that. I tried to stay as far away from Esme as possible these days because when ever we were in the same room she would try and get me involved in the planning process.

As for Jasper that is a whole other set of reasons. I stayed away from him for two main reasons. None of which have anything to do with his supposed blood lust, he has actually gotten much better. He can actually be in the same room with me and not have a problem. I also say supposed blood lust because I have a hard time believing that Alice and Edward would actually leave me if Jasper was dangerous. I don't blame him for what happened on my birthday, in fact I am much more likely to blame Edward for pushing me into all of the glass plates and making everything worse. It does however have everything to do with my current issues with my dreams. Every time I see Jasper one of my many dreams pops into my head and I cant seem to shake the feelings they evoke in me. Being around an empath and producing that much lust sucks. Every time one of the dreams pops into my head Jasper gets this strange glazed look and the room that we are in at the time gets blanketed in a heavy wave of lust that sends anyone in the room to their knees. The only thing I can figure is that he is feeding off of my emotions. I hate thinking that I am causing him any kind of discomfort and I really hate that I can't control the dreams so, I stay away from him as often as possible.

If I could just talk to someone about all of this maybe it would go away. But I had no one. Edward would be the worst choice. _Yeah try telling him that you are having steamy sexy dreams about his brother! That will go over well._ Jake would freak! Not only was I marrying a Vampire but I was lusting after according to all of them the most dangerous of the Cullen's. Alice wasn't even a possibility. How do you inform someone that you are lusting after their ex-husband while planning your wedding to their brother? _Yup this is a disaster!_

"GAH! I wish I could make sense of this." I said throwing myself on to the pillows behind me.

"I know how you feel darlin'. I wish I could explain what is going on as well." Jasper's smooth silky voice made me jump almost out of my skin. I hadn't realized that anyone was in the room with me. I reached over and flicked on one of the bedside lamps, so that I could see. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the light but it was a soft amber glow and was easier on the eyes. I was in my own room at the Cullen's. I like Edward's room but I also like having my own space so Alice fixed up one of the guest rooms as my own personal room. It was as beautiful as you would expect when Alice was involved but it was perfect for me. Alice isn't always known for taking my own personal style into consideration but for some reason on this room she did. It was large like Edward's and had an attached bathroom. That was perhaps my favorite thing about the room. The bathroom was giant, black marble with cream walls and silver accents. It was elegant yet understated. The shower was a state of the art steam shower and felt amazing when I was really stressed. It was also big enough for two people. The tub was a Jacuzzi tub and was the most calming thing in the room; it to was big enough for two. The bedroom was very simple. The walls were royal blue with cream-colored molding. My bed was the most comfortable queen size bed I had ever had the pleasure of sleeping on. I'm not sure how a vampire can pick such a comfortable bed but Alice did it. The frame was beautiful silver metal with intricate scroll work woven through out. The side tables and dresser were made of the same silver metal and the knobs matched the scroll. My bedding was royal blue and cream. The sheets were the same blue as the walls and the comforter was cream with royal blue swirls. It was down right gorgeous and perfect and screamed 'Bella'.

I let my eyes linger around the room not quite ready to look at Jasper sitting in a chair Alice had placed next to my vanity. I knew that the blue chair would contrast wonderfully with his skin and I didn't need that image in my head on top of the dream I had just had. But I couldn't not acknowledge him, so I took a deep breath and looked up at him, his golden eyes locking on my chocolate ones. I couldn't look away; it felt like my body was being weighted down by a ton of cement. Nothing went through my mind as I looked at him, my mind had been magically wiped clean. Finally after what felt like an eternity but was more like a few seconds Jasper released me from his gaze. I quickly looked away feeling slightly embarrassed. The embarrassment was fast replaced by confusion as I thought about what he had said. _What did he mean he wished he understood_? _Was it just that he could feel what I was feeling or was it something more?_

"What do you mean you wish you knew what was going on?"

"You had another dream didn't you?" He said gliding over to my bed. I was shocked! What ever I had expected him to say it wasn't that. I hadn't told anyone that I was having dreams like this.

"What do _you_ know about them?" I snapped sounding angry and much less like myself.

"Everything Darlin', I know everything." He said his voice barely above a whisper. His declaration had confused me even more. What had he truly known about my dream? How could he know anything about them? I hadn't even told Edward about them. So what could he possible know? It put me on edge a little to think that maybe he did know something about them. I mean after all he could feel what I felt in the dreams. Is that what he was talking about? I hadn't been caught sleep talking. Which was really very lucky for me. Whenever Edward was around to notice the erotic dreams, I had been able to pass them off as a dream I had about him. A blush always followed this lie, my body's unconscious reaction to the lie itself, but Edward always took it as embarrassment, in those few moments I was actually thankful for the blush that would embarrass me even more then what had brought it on. So if I was able to keep the truth from Edward, what exactly did Jasper know and why did he think it was any of his concern?

I knew he felt my desire and lust, but wouldn't he expect me to be having dreams about Edward when I was projecting these feelings? So why was he in my room, talking to me? The only contact we had ever truly had was in Phoenix, when I was on the run from James and briefly when he told me a little about his undead upbringing. Other then that Jasper Whitlock remained an enigma. A stoic, brooding, blond God who had suddenly started taking center stage in the play that was my nightly dreams. I didn't dare analyze them (Freud would have a fucking field day if he could get inside my head) for fear of what I would find. Yet part of me couldn't help but notice the consistencies with in my dreams.

We were always in the same meadow. Never Edward's and mine, but it was always the same one. I had never seen this meadow before and didn't understand how my mind had conjured something so beautiful. It was always sunny which was unusual for Forks, Jasper never had a shirt on which allowed the sun to beat down on his marble skin. He was free to sparkle in all his Godlike glory in my dream and the thought of him with out a shirt was enough to make me melt. But perhaps the most telling part of these dreams was his eyes! They were always red. The intensity of the red changed from day to day ranging the whole spectrum from deep crimson to an almost orange, but they were never the gold I was used to. He always asked if I was ready to die, to spend eternity with him and I was always willing and ready. And the dreams on most days ended with his teeth embedded in my jugular. The power of the erotic parts varied as well. I noticed that when I would try to deny the dreams they would get stronger and coupled with my frustrations they grew then as well. On days when I had accepted the dreams or when I wasn't too sexually crazed the dreams were mild with almost no erotic aspect. Just Jasper asking if I was ready to be his for all eternity. Tonight I must have been massively frustrated because that was farthest the dream had ever gone.

I couldn't look at Jasper to ask him any of the questions that were floating in my mind. I was having trouble getting the images from my many dreams out of my head, and I knew he could feel the lust and need I was feeling just thinking about my dreams. I was embarrassed to know that he could feel everything I was feeling even if he didn't know that I was feeling them about him. I wasn't ready for him to know this. I knew that if I were to look into his eyes that he would find out that it was in fact him, not Edward, that my subconscious mind was longing for.

"Bella, do you understand the idea of projection?" he asked. This question caught me off guard and I didn't know how to respond. I knew the basics of it but I didn't know how it worked. He must have felt my confusion because before I could say anything he had started talking again. "Some vampires can project things, like I can project emotions to the people around me. Understand?" I nodded not knowing where he was going with this. "Still others can project false images or even their own **thoughts**." Jasper emphasized the word thoughts. I was still following his explanation but I couldn't figure out why he was telling me this, but rather than stop him to ask questions I let him continue. "Most vampires that can project things need contact with the intended target. But there are those of us, who don't need physical contact. I don't need contact to manipulate your emotions. Yes, the manipulation is stronger if there is contact but it is not needed. However, with thought projection most need contact to make sure that the intended target is in fact receiving the projection. Do you understand what I am saying?" I may have understood but I was still confused.

"Jasper where are you going with this?" I couldn't hold my questions in any longer. I needed this answer. I looked up at him as I heard his deep unneeded intake of breath. He looked worried like he wasn't sure how to continue.

"I think, Bella, that you may be some one that can project her thoughts with out touch."

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**A/N so the lemon? What do we think? They scare me to write, it seriously took me 3 days just to write that part of the story, so I need all of your feedback on this. If it was good I will write more maybe even one that doesn't stop when it gets good lol… sorry about that but the story needed it.**

**Okay so review and I will give you a peek at the next chapter as soon as I have it ready. I have 2 twilight stories and one cross over (in the works) that I am working on so my updates aren't going to be as fast as some of the other authors on this site. Bear with me on the updates I promise to never let a story fall by the wayside.**

**Reviews are like a naked Jasper always wanted and always needed.**


	3. 2 Explanations dont always give answers!

**okay so here is the newest chapter and i must say i am quiet proud :) it only took me 4 days to write, type and have this edited. i was on a roll. that being said there are two people you can thank for having this chapter so quickly. one of which is NCChris, her review made me want to get to work on this chapter before working on ch9 of Make me love you but dont worry thats the next story to be updated i promised a special surprise in that story for JaspersBella and she will get it. the second is my wonderful beta Jaspers Izzy. She is amazing and Awe inspiring. if you have not read her story run, dont walk, over to her page and read 'we found each other' its very good and i am not just saying that because i beta for it or because she is my beta. i liked it before we became each others betas. **

**i have one other story i would like to rec tonight. its by naelany and its called live like there is no tomorrow. it is not for the narrow minded i will say that. it is a slash and a damn good one at that. its Jasper and Edward and if you read it bring a box of tissue, you will need it. Naelany has promised lemons so if you are not into that dont read it. i dont not want to hear that naelany has gotten any flames from my readers. she is very good and i love both of her stories. okay off my soap box lol.**

**oh i own nothing, i am just borrowing Jasper for my own fun. even though JaspersBella says i need to share. -in hushed voice- she's no fun she just wants Jasper all to herself -looks over shoulder to see death glare and evil smile from JaspersBella- told you she just wanted him all to herself! okay it is way too late and i am getting loopy... hehe thats a funny word loopy! **

**ENJOY!!!**

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Chapter 2

Explanations don't always give you answers

I had been attracted to Bella from the moment I had seen her, her first day of school. I had never really given the attraction the time of day. When Bella had first come in to our lives I was happy and in love with my wife, I didn't need to think about anyone else. I had no idea everything would change so drastically just with the addiction of one human.

No one knew about my attraction to Bella because it was just that, an attraction. Edward never read it in my mind because I never dwelled on it. I didn't want to, it had no place in my head. I kept my distance not because I lusted after her blood or her body but because Edward asked, no, told me to. Alice was nicer about asking me to stay away from Bella, but her reasoning was clear and her tone told me in no uncertain terms that my presence around Bella was not wanted or needed.

No one in the house trusted me to stick to 'their' diet. Maybe it was because they referred to it as their diet and not our diet? They always lumped me in a different category because for the simple fact that I was the only one that had actually lived off of human blood. Yeah, Edward had his rebellious stage as he calls it, in which he hunted humans, but that lasted a decade, where as mine lasted almost a hundred years. I was the outsider because of the way I had 'grown up' and they never really let me forget it. But the truth was, I had long since mastered my blood lust. When I was simply dealing with my lust it was easy enough to handle, but when you can feel the thirst of six other vampires, you tend to get a little crazed.

Bella's birthday was a prime example of what could happen when six other vampire's thirsts influence me. The hardest thirst to ignore was Edwards, considering Bella is his singer. No one in the family knew that I could feel their thirst, and I intended to keep it that way. I willingly took all of the blame for Bella's party not wanting to cause the family any more pain, but in all honesty it was Edward's fault. Yes, I was the one that had attacked, but it was Edward's emotions that had sent me into the craze. And then the idiot goes and throws her into a table full of glass plates. Fucking genius!

The party was really when everything started to change. Alice and I started to shift from a relationship of lovers to that of best friends and eventually to that of brother and sister. I had always thought Alice and I would love each other for eternity. Suddenly finding out that Alice was simply the path I had to take to get to my soul mate was a little shocking. Alice still hadn't seen who was meant for me, but she had assured me that both of us would be happy. I was willing to except this as fact because, if there was one thing I had learned in my 145 years as a vampire, it was that you never bet against Alice.

There wasn't really a reason for the break up of Alice and I. We just grew apart. It was hard though, Alice and I remained really good friends, the best in fact, so when she left to go 'find herself' it was a little bit of a shock. I had no idea where she was going or what she expected to find, but I didn't press her for information. I knew she would have told me if she wanted to. It was hard to let her leave, she was still really important to me and we were together constantly even if it was just as friend's, so the idea losing of the one person that I actually interacted with wasn't easy to deal with. With the house almost empty I was left to my thought a lot more, which as it turned out, was a very dangerous place to be as of late.

I'm not really sure when the images started popping up, but it wasn't long after Edward stopped being able to read my mind. It was strange; at first I didn't even know what I was seeing. I would only get flashes of color, like brown or green. Then I started to see images, like a set of crimson eyes or gleaming white teeth. The first time I saw Bella and I in the meadow I thought I was going crazy. Why would I be thinking about taking Bella to the meadow? I never took anyone to my meadow. It wasn't even really a meadow. It was so much more. It was beautiful, surrounded by trees and fragrant wild flowers, with a waterfall that fell wonderfully into a river. It was one of the most beautiful places I had ever found and it was all mine. It was where I went to just be alone. When you have a mind reader in the family a place of seclusion is almost a must. No one, and I mean no one, ever went with me to the meadow. So why were Bella and I there? And why the hell were my eyes red? It was odd to see myself with red eyes; it wasn't a color I had seen on me in many many years. It didn't take me long to figure out that I was seeing these images through Bella's eyes. Though that changed eventually too.

It took me the better part of a month to actually understand what was going on, or at least understand what I could discern on my own with out asking too many questions. Carlisle was curious about my questions on thought projection and false images, but I never really told him much. I just told him I wanted to understand Jane and Alec's powers more.

As the months went on the visions started getting stronger and more and more intimate. At first it was like I was watching through her eyes, which was creepy to say the least. Then it was like I was watching from a far but my body could actually feel what was happening. I could feel her skin underneath my hands even though I was in my room and she was sleeping in hers. I could even smell her arousal. Not only could I feel what I was doing to her in the dream but I also could feel everything she was doing to me, I could feel her run her hands up my arms and down my chest leaving a blazing trail of warmth in their wake. It was like it was actually happening, even though I was sitting in a chair at my desk. The first time the dream had gotten really sexual had been a little intense. In her dream she had run her hands over my erection and it was like she was actually sitting in my bed doing that. She proceeded to stick her hand in my pants and I almost came in pants at the feeling of her tiny hand wrapped around my dick, even if it wasn't actually happening. That had only happened once but it was crazy. Most of her dreams didn't go that far, but my body reacted the way one would expect in a sexual encounter.

The visions used to only come at night while Bella was asleep—that took me a while to figure out! You would think I would have caught on sooner. When I finally figured it out I couldn't help but mentally slap myself—so I could seek refuge from my family. No one, not even Alice and Edward knew what I was seeing, what Bella was conjuring. After the first month the images started happening during the day as well, though these weren't nearly as long or as intense. They were however, always the most intimate parts of the dreams (because I had finally figured out that's that what they were), and I didn't seem to be able to control my emotions or keep them to myself for that matter. When the images flashed behind my eyes. I knew this because who ever was in the room with me at the time would drop to their knees, do to the very raw lust that both Bella and I were feeling. It was kind of weird how it was magnified when I was around her.

The most baffling part of this entire situation was that it was me that Bella was thinking about and not Edward. Edward!_ God what is going on with him lately? _He is never around. I knew he was lying about being on 'family business' because I could feel his insincerity, so what the hell was he doing? Bella is so in love with him, and I couldn't for the life of me understand what he was doing that was so important that it would take him away from her so much. Especially this close to the wedding.

Alice was another one, I couldn't quite figure out. She had left to find her future, but for some reason I didn't believe her. I couldn't feel her lies in her emotions but she had long since figured out how to get around my gift.

I was sitting in my room thinking everything over when they started again. I was standing bare foot in grass and could truly feel the blades of grass tickle the underside of my foot. The sun was shinning down and its warmth seared my skin. I reveled in its warmth and turned to see Bella in a soft pink tank top and dark blue skinny jeans. Her soft hair was cascading down her back in curly tendrils and I longed to run my fingers through it. I felt my legs start to move towards her. Reaching her, I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her to me. Behind the vision my mind was telling me it wasn't real, that I needed to fight the feelings that were coursing through my body. The rational part of my brain was thanking whatever higher power there was, that these images were just that, images. The irrational part, the man part of my brain, the part that had always been attracted to Bella and was quickly finding himself completely infatuated with her, screamed for me to let the dream play out. My rational brain won out and my attention was diverted before my body could react anymore than it already had. I am not proud to say that in the last three months I had taken more cold (well relatively speaking) showers and pleasured myself then in all my time on this planet.

I had to talk to Bella about these damn dreams, and now was the perfect time. The house was empty, Emmett and Rose where on their thousandth honeymoon, Edward and Alice were MIA, and Carlisle and Esme had decided to take an extended hunting trip into the mountains around Idaho. So I knew I could have this conversation with out being over heard. This wasn't going to be easy. Bella was easily embarrassed and having to tell her that I have been witness to her most privet thoughts, thoughts that were very graphic and sensual, thoughts that involved not only her but me in compromising positions was not a conversation I wanted to have. It wasn't going to be easy to find the words to tell a person that you know about their fantasies. Its not like I could walk up to her and simply say, "So you like the idea of me naked with you wrapped around me?" _Yup, instant death by mortification, table for one!_ Somehow I didn't think that would work.

I walked up to her room on the 3rd floor. The room was close to Edward's, it was the only way he could deal with the idea of her having her own room. He truly was on over barring, over controlling self-absorbed pain in the ass sometimes. I understood the need for her to call something her own. While Alice and I had been together, I had always had my own study. It was a place I loved to be by myself, other than the meadow, it was the only place I went to think and just be me. It was my safe haven.

I had been very happy that I had the room after the demise of Alice and I. All I really had to do was move my clothing (what little I actually kept) into the closet and get a new bed. I know, I don't actually need a bed but its one of the luxuries of humanity that I actually enjoy. I really like lying down and pretending to sleep.

Bella's door was open slightly allowing me to walk in quietly. I didn't really want to wake her. She doesn't normally sleep very well, so when she is asleep, I try not to disturb her no matter how much I need her dreams to stop. I really didn't ever _want _them to stop, I was truly intrigued by them and really wanted to read more into them, but I _needed_ them to stop.

I walked into her room and took a seat in the soft blue suede chair. Bella tossed and turned lightly while her dream played out behind both of our eyes. The blankets were kicked off and lay forgotten at the end of the bed. I felt weird sitting in her chair watching her sleep. _Great, now I am that creepy stalker guy. I am no better then Edward._

"Jasper!" Bella's breathy voice matched what I was seeing in my head. _No! I was worse than Edward. I was sitting in her room watching her have a sex dream about ME! One that I could see, one that was not helping my growing problem. God I am a perv._

I tried not to think about the images swirling around in my head. Instead I tried to think about things that would get rid of my problem, things like Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley going at it. _Gross, okay problem gone!_

The dream had come to an abrupt end and I was thankful it didn't end the way it normally did. Yes I had my blood lust under control but that didn't mean it was easy. And after having images of my teeth embedded in Bella's neck, it was a struggle to maintain my control. It would be easier to talk to Bella about the dreams with out wondering how her blood would taste as it flowed freely down my throat or the popping sound her skin would make as my teeth broke through. _Okay that's enough of those thoughts!_

"Shit." Bella mumbled. I could smell her arousal mixed with the sweat that coated her body. It was an intoxicating smell. I could feel her frustration, no doubt because of the way the dream had ended. Her emotions started to fluctuate quickly, going from frustrated and understanding to confusion and ashamed. Suddenly she was thankful. _What was that about?_ And then she was back to being confused. Her emotions changed so much it was hard to pick up on them even for an empath. Finally she settled on annoyance, doubt and frustration, with anger and sorrow thrown in every now and then. She was clearly deep in thought. At times like this, I wished I had the ability to read her mind. She fascinated me; I had started to desire a friendship for this insignificant human. I was no longer willing to sit on the sidelines, if this woman was going to be my "sister-in-law", then I wanted to know her. Who she was, what she liked… everything. Not the perfect little Bella my brother had molded her into, but the real Bella. She never did anything I expected and she was the only one in this household that had complete trust in me. Though really she was the only one that had no reason to trust me. Edward was right about one thing; she really had no knowledge of self-preservation. She was more comfortable being around bloodsucking, crazy manic-depressive supernatural beings then being around people of her own species, people like Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley. Though with the amount of lust coming from Mike and the pure hatred coming from Jessica, I guess I could understand that.

"GAH! I wish I could make sense of this." Bella's voice broke me from my random thoughts.

"I know how you feel darlin', I wish I could explain what is going on as well." She must not have realized I was in the room because she almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of my voice. I felt bad for scaring her. I could feel her shock and embarrassment. I wished I could tell her there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but with what we were about to talk about, I knew it would be a lie. Hell I was finding myself feeling more then a little embarrassed. Its not everyday this kind of conversation takes place. _How do you even start a conversation like this?_

The ebbing of Bella's embarrassment and the strengthening of her confusion pulled me from my head, alerting me to the questions Bella was about to ask. No doubt in response to my admission of wanting to understand what was going on just as much as she did.

"What do you mean you wish you knew what was going on?"

"You had another dream didn't you?" I asked. You didn't need to be an empath to know she was taken aback by my question. What ever she had been expecting me to say, it hadn't been that. I got up from the chair and moved to sit at the foot of Bella's bed. She had turned a soft light on so she could see me clearly.

"What do _you_ know about them?" her voice was sharp and pointed. She sounded angry. I had never heard that tone come from of her. I felt bad making her angry, but I couldn't turn back now.

"Everything darlin', I know everything." It came out much quieter then I was expecting. It was just like Bella to make a vampire unsure of himself. Bella's confusion was growing exponentially by the minute. I didn't know if I was going to be able to get through this while dealing with her emotions so I closed myself off to them. I was still unsure of what to say. Bella looked lost in thought which gave me the opportunity to collect my thoughts. After a few minutes I spoke again. "Bella, do you understand the idea of projection?" I decided to start with what I thought was happening; sort of ease her into the idea that I've been seeing her dreams. She didn't answer so I continued with my explanation. "Some vampires can project things, like I can project emotions to the people around me. Understand?" she nodded and I went on. "Still others can project false images or even their own **thoughts**." I left a heavy emphasis on thoughts. I wanted her to pick up on where I was going with this, but I didn't think it was working so I needed to explain further. "Most vampires that can project things need contact with the intended target. But there are those of us who don't need physical contact. I don't need contact to manipulate your emotions. Yes, the manipulation is stronger if there is contact but it is not needed. However with thought projection most need contact to make sure that the intended target is in fact receiving the projection. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"Jasper, where are you going with this?" I was really hoping she had followed my line of thought so I did not have to come right out and say it. It was so uncomfortable.

I took an un-needed deep breath to steady my thoughts; I really didn't want to do this. "I think, Bella, that you may be some one that can project her thoughts without touch." A sharp in take of breath alerted me to the fact that Bella was now following my line of thinking even if she was not 100% there yet.

"And what makes you think I can project my thoughts?" she asked tentatively.

I let out a deep breath and looked at her, "Your dreams started about three months ago right?" I didn't need to ask this question, I already knew the answer. She nodded again. "And they have been getting stronger and more real right?" She bit her lip but didn't respond. "Bella, darlin' look at me." I begged. She raised her eyes to me albeit reluctantly. "Do you know where I am going with this?"

"Kind of," she whispered so quietly that even as a vampire I almost missed it. "Are you trying to tell me that I have been projecting my dreams to you?" finally we are on the same wavelength! I just nodded.

"I don't want to embarrass you, that's not why I am here. But I have a few questions about these dreams I would really like the answers to, if you are up to it. I could let you go back to sleep if you want, we could do this tomorrow."

"No! Its okay I will try and answer the questions." She was braver then I gave her credit for.

"Okay! Umm… I guess the biggest question I have would be the obvious one, why me? Why am I the one you are dreaming about? And why are you projecting your thoughts to me? You're not even a vampire yet!" The last statement was more to myself then to her but I felt her hope penetrate my block as I said yet, allowing her to believe that maybe one day she would become one of us. I secretly hoped for it. Hell if Edward wouldn't do it, I would!

I needed to ask someone about the fact that a human was projecting thoughts, but I couldn't. If I told Carlisle about Bella he would want to know what I was seeing and this subject matter is just a little too personal for both of us. Bella and I were going to have to figure this out on our own.

"I wish I could give you the answers to your questions Jasper. Believe me I wish I could, but I just don't know." She said, flopping back against her pillows. "I should be dreaming about Edward, not you! And honestly I try, but nothing happens. When I imagine him in the dream instead of you my body doesn't even react. The idea of Edward and I in a position like that doesn't do anything for me. Do you know how fucked up that is?" Her honesty caught me off guard; I truly had no idea she was having issues like that.

"I didn't know I was projecting my thoughts, I didn't even know I could do that." She was frustrated and she had every right to be.

"Bella this is going to sound very rude and forward but are you actually attracted to me, you know physically or is it just your subconscious manifesting something that isn't there?" The blush that appeared on her face spoke volumes to me and I took it to mean yes. The rational part of my head was screaming, "Oh this is bad, very bad. Get out while you can Jasper, you are in way over your head!" but the irrational, more man part of my head was doing a happy dance.

"Its hard not to be Jasper, you're gorgeous. But that's not really the point. Your not the one I am in love with."

"Believe me I understand," I sighed. "Alice may have seen us with other people and happy, but it doesn't mean it was easy to let her go. Our love changed, which for vampires, is rare, but that doesn't mean that I don't still love and miss her." It was true; Alice had been my life for over 60 years. How do you just let that go because of a vision? Bella moved down to where I was sitting at the bottom of the bed. In a hunter green tank top and matching boy shorts she came to rest sitting next to me. Wrapping her arms around me in a warm embrace she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"We are quite a pair aren't we? Both longing for what we can't have. You for Alice and me to be intimate with Edward." _Well she got that half right._ Having Bella wrapped around me was strange. When our skin touched it felt like an electrical shock had run through me. Her kiss was what took me for a spin though. Her lips on my skin felt exactly the way it did when she was projecting her dreams.

"Yeah," I chuckled trying to get the dream out of my head. "But I am not getting Alice back, you on the other hand, will get your happy ending with Edward." I tried not to sound sad but I think she heard it any way. The worst part was, I wasn't sure what I was sad about. Her getting her happy ending with _Edward_ or not getting Alice back.

"Jasper, Alice said she saw you happy too. That happy ending belongs to both of us." She said trying to stifle a yawn. The idea of both of us getting our happy endings made my non-existent heart feel lighter.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Bells, but I think this conversation has come to an end. It's bed time for the human" I said guiding her back down onto the mattress.

"Hey Bella?" I had one more question to ask her before she fell asleep.

"Hmm?" she hummed.

"Can we hang out tomorrow? I have something I want to show you."

"I'd like that. Good night Jazz."

"Good night beautiful." I left shutting the door behind me. I went to my room after our talk, for the rest of the night. I had a lot to think about.

Unknown POV

I turned over to face my lover. Not wanting to let go of his embrace, I snuggled closer. I placed a small kiss on his lips causing him to sigh. He was so happy, I was so happy. But I had to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked, as I got up to get dressed.

"I have a lot of things to pick up for the wedding. I have to go, I don't want to, but Bella will be pissed if this wedding doesn't go the way it should. I know she doesn't act like it but it's really important to her."

"Bella," my lover groaned, "what are we going to do about her?"

"I don't know," I sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed to put my shoes on. "She deserves this happiness after everything we have put her through."

My lover moved to the edge of the bed wrapping his arms around me in a strong embrace and said, "You know she's going to freak if she ever finds out about us right?" he was right. This would break her, _again._ We couldn't do that to her again.

"I know. That's why she's not going to find out. Now I have to go. I love you." I kissed his lips and was out the door but not before his whispered I love you floated to my ears.

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**A/N okay so what do you think? was it worth the wait? was it everything you hope and more or did it fall flat on its ass? who do you think the unknown pov is? no one but me and my girl Naachan know and she dont read twilight so she aint tellin. **

**Naked Jasper got a lot of good reviews last chapter he said he doesnt really mind delivering teasers like that though i think next time he may deliver them in a leather chaps and a cowboy hat nothing else :) so if your nice and click that like button down there Jasper in leather will show up at your door with a teaser. you know you want to. reviews are like Jasper in leather always wanted and always needed!**


	4. Black Weddings and White Funerals

**A/N I am so sorry it took me so long to update. The characters didn't want to talk.**

**I want to thank my beta goddess Jaspers Izzy, my goddesses JaspersBella and Jaspers Darlin Kathy for all of their help. With out them you wouldn't have this chapter to read right now.**

**If you haven't read Jaspers Izzy's story We Found Each Other then go do it, its amazing. Jaspers Darlin Kathy has a few you need to read as well, A new Love, the hot empath, beautiful human and the sexy doctor or something like that. Girl change that name!**

**Jaspers Darlin Kathy and I have also combined our mines and decided to attempt an Edward/Jasper slash under the pen name Jaspers Dark Darlin Angels so check it out.**

**I own nothing, I wish I did.**

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Chapter 3

Black weddings and White Funerals

I was standing in front of Edward. He was so beautiful in his tux. I looked down and noticed I was in my wedding dress. _How did that happen?_

Looking around, I saw all of my family and friends sitting in the chairs placed before me, in the backyard of the Cullen house. My parents were in the front row, tears running down my mom's face. All the seats were filled up. All but one. The one seat I needed filled more than anything was empty. Jacob Black, didn't come to my wedding, my best friend couldn't be bothered to put aside his hatred for my soon to be husband and show up to my wedding. He was supposed to be my best man.

Abandoning the spot my eyes had fallen, I looked to Alice, my maid of honor. She wore a lovely black dress, a color I wouldn't think worked well for a wedding. Isn't it the color one wears to a funeral? Though I guess on further inspection this was kind of my funeral as well. I was due to be changed right after the wedding and before the honeymoon. I didn't want to wait any longer. Alice had a big, bright smile on her face, like she expected everything to go perfectly. No one ever bets against Alice, right? So why did I have such a bad feeling?

My eyes moved to Emmett, the happy teddy bear was almost bouncing out of his seat. Rosalie was trying to hold him still, though it looked like she was struggling. His skin was an odd color too, it was… spotty? _What had he been doing?_

The last place my eyes went, were to my fiancé's best man. What I saw shocked me. A wedding was a time of celebration and joy, he looking anything but joyful. There was a deep sorrow on his face but anger was the most prominent of emotions that I could see behind his beautiful golden eyes. I had only ever seen him this angry once, and that was during the battle of the newborns. He had told me his story then and I had learned that he was not a vampire I wanted to piss off. _What had caused him to become so angry, and why now?_

Over the past few weeks Jasper and I had become very good friends. We spent most of my waking moments together. We were the only ones around so it made sense, what I had not expected was for him to become my best friend. I had thought I had started to get to really know him, to really be able to read him. I knew what kind of mood he was in just by looking at him; it was like I was feeling his feelings. So the sorrow on his face confused me.

Someone started talking, and shock and rage flashed in Jasper's eyes. A dark shadow blocked out the sun from my view. I looked up to see who could possibly cast me into such unseeing darkness, but couldn't make out the face. The persons body didn't even give me a clue as to who it was, it was just a dark shape, and there were no hard lines to it. I walked closer to get a better view and suddenly I was no longer in the back yard.

I was standing in a field of grass; I didn't know where I was. There were rolling hills of green and mountains of white all around. I called out, but heard nothing. I started to walk forward but sunk into the grass, looking down I realized I was no longer in my wedding dress. I was in a different white dress and heels. The dress was amazing, much more my style than the one I had been wearing previously but I had never seen it before. My heels had been what stopped me; they had sunk deeper into the grass as I fidgeted with the dress. Giving up on the heels, I kicked them off and started to run. Down a hill and across the countryside. I was running much faster then I should have been allowed to. To my right I saw a path come into view and decided to take it. As I turned on to the path I could see the end, and at the end stood a man. He looked like he was waiting for some one. As I moved forward the man came into sharper focus, I still couldn't make out who he was, but I knew he was tall, taller the Edward but not quiet as tall as Emmett. He was dressed in an all black suit that fit him perfectly. From what I could make out he was stunning. I got closer still and could finally make out the mass of golden curls on his head. I stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't need to go any farther to figure out who this man was. I called out to Jasper, making him turn around. His smile was bright, showing off his dimples and making his golden eyes twinkle. I started to walk towards him, like I was being pulled. My chest ached at the sight of him; it felt like I hadn't seen him in forever. Breaking into a run, I reached him and flung myself into his open arms. He caught me with ease and twirled me around. His face was breathtakingly beautiful. Instead of coming into contact with the ice-cold body I was used to as he hugged me tightly to him, I was met with a soft warm one. I stared up at Jasper, I could feel the prickle of tears wanting to fall, but none did.

"I've missed you darlin." Jasper drawled as his lips descended on mine. The kiss was soft and sweet, but filled with the most intense passion I had ever felt. It felt like it was flowing through Jasper to me and back. Love and passion encircled us in a blanket, protecting us from the outside world. Pulling back from the kiss, the blanket didn't disappear. "Please don't ever leave me, you're mine, for eternity, remember?" he said holding up my hand and kissing my fingers. I nodded and wrapped my arms around him once more. I never wanted to let him go. Jasper was mine and I was his. Together forever.

A sharp buzzing ripped through my happy moment and I looked back to see where it was coming from. Suddenly I wasn't in a field, I wasn't standing next to Jasper and I wasn't in a gorgeous white dress. I was standing in a dark place. I couldn't make out where I was but I was scared and alone. The buzzing continued to get louder and I started to walk down a long hallway to find the source of the sound. Suddenly and thankfully, I was in my bed, I could feel the mattress under me.

It was only a dream. A strange strange dream, but a dream nonetheless. The buzzing was still going off. My eyes snapped open and I lay looking at the ceiling panting for breath. Once my breathing had returned to normal and my brain started to function, I realized I had not set an alarm yesterday. I looked at the clock, startled to see that it was past 11:30 in the morning; I had definitely not set an alarm to go off at 11:30! Reaching out, I smacked the top of the clock, silencing it for its incessant buzzing. I lay in bed for about a half an hour longer, just reflecting on everything that had taken place in the past 24 hours. The dreams and Jasper's thoughts on the dreams were confusing. How could I be projecting my dreams to him? I had never done it before, so why now? Why was I having these dreams? Why was Jasper the one in whose arms I ran? Where was Edward in all of this? Why hadn't I married Edward in my dream? Who was the dark shape and what did they mean to me? The dream had changed and Jasper was the one standing waiting for me. But what was he waiting for? He had told me never to leave him again but where had I gone? He had also called me his, and, if I was being honest with myself, which I wasn't, the idea sent a thrill though me.

Last night Jasper had informed me that I had been projecting my dreams on to him. He was a perfect gentleman, not once mentioning anything that he had seen, but he had been privy, to my most deepest and often darkest desires. I was deeply embarrassed knowing that he has seen that I fancied the idea of being turned in the throws of sex. I was embarrassed by what not only my conscious, but my subconscious thought up. But worst was the fact that I had been projecting them to the one person in the world I wanted most left in the dark. Well, except maybe Edward. What the fuck would Edward think if he knew what my dreams were? He would freak out that was for sure. Where did Edward come into play? I hadn't seen him in almost a week. He would probably be coming home soon, I just didn't know when. Our relationship was so different than it was a year ago. Back when he and I had started dating we were inseparable, but ever since he came back form Italy, it's been different. He went from crazy, protective, border lining possessive, to non-existent. He was still protective when he was around but it was a strange kind of protective, like he was hiding something from me, and that was why I had no freedom. He was starting to really piss me off, when he was home he cared too much, but while he was gone it was like he couldn't be bothered to care about me at all. Most days I didn't even hear from him and on the days that I did, the phone call always lasted a minute or less and never and I mean NEVER ended with I love you. So did he still love me? Was my dream trying to tell me not to marry him or just playing on my wedding jitters?

By this time I had too many questions and absolutely no fucking answers, so I gave up on the self-reflection and decided to start my day, even if it was half over already. I slowly got out of bed trying not to dwell on the dreams of last night or the fact that Jasper had been seeing my dreams, though I wondered if he had seen the last one. I knew he saw the erotic dreams but did he see the wedding one? Do I send him all of my dreams or is it only the sex dreams?

Shedding my clothing, I got into the shower quickly. Letting the hot water cascade down my back and wash away not only the sweat from last night, but also the stress that had been building.

Jasper had said he wanted to show me something, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was. We had never been friends, hell I had less interaction with him then I did with Rosalie.

I got out of the shower and quickly dressed; jeans, tee shirt and my vans. Nothing flashy, nothing showy and 100% comfy. Alice would hate it, that thought made me smile. I wasn't exactly happy with my sister and maid of honor right now, not the way she was treating this family and more to the point Jasper.

My stomach started to get the better of me and I made my way down the stairs to see what the vampires kept in the house that was edible to a human. Not that the vampires kept anything that was edible to them in the house, well unless you count me. Smiling at that errant thought, I continued my dissent. I could smell something cooking as I reached the bottom of the stairs and figured Esme had heard me get up and had decided to over load me with food. When I reached the kitchen my jaw dropped. Jasper was standing at the sink, looking out the window. He wasn't wearing a shirt, instead it was in his hand and it was soaked. His back was ridged and he didn't look happy. There was a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup on the counter, no doubt waiting for me.

"Hey Jasper," I said, sitting down on the bar stool next to the food.

"Hey Bella, I made you lunch. I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I went with something easy, but if you want something else I'm able to make you something else." Jasper's back was still to me and he was still tense.

"This is perfect, Jazz." I said digging into the sandwich, it really was one of the best-grilled cheese sandwiches I had ever had.

"What has you so tense?" I asked after a while. He just shook his head.

"Jasper come sit down and join me, I am sure there is nothing fascinating going on outside." He was starting to creep me out standing over the sink all-tense like that. He moved his head and looked at his shirt. I hadn't even given much notice to the fact that Jasper was shirtless, because his posture had weirded me out. Now that he had relaxed a bit my eyes racked over his naked back. He was broader than Edward, though not by much. I could see every muscle move as he flexed and shifted. He was beautiful and the scars just added to it.

He turned his head a little more and I could see water dripping down in his face from his hair. _What on earth?_ He turned to look at me and I got a perfect view of his bare chest. My eyes raked over his chest and followed a bead of water down his abs, as it got lost in the little amount of honey blond hair that trailed into the waist of his pants. He was drenched! I looked around the kitchen and noticed the area that Jazz was standing in was covered in water. "Jasper," I snickered, "What happened and why are you all wet?"

"I don't want to talk about it Bells. I'm just going to go put a shirt on and get this all cleaned up," He said pointing to the mess before he walked out of the kitchen. Getting up from my seat I went to investigate the area Jasper had just vacated, but I couldn't see anything. I put my dishes in the sink and went to turn the water on. The moment that water came on Jasper walked into the kitchen. "No!" He said as I got a face full of water. Trying to find the shut off valve while I was being doused in water was not working for me, so I stepped away from the counter as Jasper went to turn it off.

Finally the spray was gone and Jasper and I were left standing in the kitchen dripping from head to toe. Jaspers new clean shirt was now nice and wet again and I burst into a fit of hysterics because of the look of pure indignation on his face.

"What on earth happened to the sink, Jazz?" I said through gasps of breath. He still didn't look amused so I went over to him. "Look, you can tell me. Its not like you don't know anything embarrassing about me." It was true!

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I broke the sink this morning."

"Why?"

"Because I got really angry. I can't even explain it Bells, all of the sudden I had this crazy surge of pure rage flow through me and I was standing next to the sink at the time. I don't know what came over me. It's never happened before."

"You don't know what made you angry?"

"Not a damn clue. I was standing at the sink, looking out into the back yard trying to decide if I should wake you up because I wanted to take you somewhere today, when I suddenly got a flash of white. I couldn't see anything else, it was just white and then it went dark. Suddenly, I was so angry that I couldn't control myself. After it happened it took me a few minutes to realize it had happened because as quickly as the rage had come on, it transformed into feelings of sorrow and then pure bliss. I snapped out of it when I heard the water running for your shower. That's why I was all wet when you came down. It was just the weirdest fucking thing." That was strange. Jasper never lost control of his emotions. He had become the most stable of the Cullen family, second only to Carlisle, when it came to control. His control was far better then Edward's ever would be. If Jasper could control himself with the kinds of dreams I was having I had no problem believing that Jasper could control himself 100%.

I shivered slightly; the water was making me cold. "Why don't you go change and I will clean this up. Then we can head out." I nodded and started to walk away.

"Oh hey, Jasper?" A thought had occurred to me. He hmmed in response and I asked him what I should wear. After telling me to wear tennis shoes and jeans I left to get re-dressed. Once I was back in the kitchen I was awed at how clean it was. Jasper was standing there in a new outfit for the 3rd time today. I wanted to laugh at him but I was too nervous about what he had planned for today.

"There is no need to be nervous Bella, I promise not to hurt you." Okay now I was feeling guilty for feeling nervous. I wasn't afraid to be alone with Jasper, and I didn't think he would hurt me, but he didn't know that.

"It's not that Jasper, I swear. I just don't know where we're going and you know how I hate surprises." He chuckled at that.

"It's not a bad surprise, I promise. And thank you." I stared at him confused, what was he thanking me for? "For trusting me darlin, I know I haven't given you any reason to, and your trust in me means more to me then you will ever know." My heart swelled when he said these words. I knew it hurt him that his family didn't trust him, I had no idea the trust of a simple human could have such an affect on him. "Alright, lets save the touchy feely for another day, what do you say we get this show on the road?" I nodded and started to walk out the front door.

"Ah Bells?"

"Yeah Jazz?" I said using his nickname. I wasn't sure when we had changed from full first names to the nicknames our families used, but I liked it. Jasper didn't feel like a brother even if he was going to be one soon enough, he felt more like Jake did to me. A friend, one I could see myself growing very attached to. Just in the short period of time we had been talking, what was it 12 hours? I could feel myself becoming very attached. _Why did I always have to get so attached?_

"I know you hate riding on Edward's back, but it's the only way to get to where we are going. Would you mind riding on my back? I promise to keep the run smooth and I wont go as fast as Edward, so it shouldn't make you sick." He said trying to convince me that he was safe. I was nervous but not because of the run. I was worried about the feelings that might go through me at being pressed up against his strong body. Images of the dreams last night and this morning flashed through my mind and I saw Jasper's eyes glaze over. Luckily I was reliving most of the wedding dream, or at least the part where I was in Jasper's arms so he didn't have to deal with all of the feelings of lust, want and desire the other dream brought on.

"What was that?" Jasper asked as the images came to an end. I hung my head in shame and kicked aimlessly at the dirt.

"Just a dream I had this morning." I said as quietly as I could.

"A dream huh? Those feelings you were having right there, that was what I was feeling this morning. Well at least the pure bliss part of it." I looked up at him startled by his revelation.

"So wait, you didn't actually see this dream? You just felt it?"

He nodded, "That's how the other ones started too. Have you ever had this dream before?" I shook my head.

"No, it was completely new and unlike anything I had ever dreamt before." I said.

"Will you tell me about it when we get to where I want to take you?" he asked and I had to agree. I was reluctant to but he should know these things, they were only getting stronger and stranger and they concerned him anyway. Even if I chose not to share this dream with him, he would eventually see it.

"I promise we can talk about this when we end this journey. Now, are we going? Because if we are, I am going to need you to squat down. Jumping on your back would be dangerous for a klutz like me." He chuckled at the truth of the situation and sunk down so that I could wrap my arms around his neck. With my legs around his waist and my head planted firmly in the crook of his neck he took off. I barely felt like I was moving. The wind whipped around me tangling my hair, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I wasn't feeling sick, but that could be because I was absorbed in Jasper's scent. He smelled better then my dream. He smelled like vanilla and sandalwood with a hint of mint and something crisp, almost fruity. He even smelled better then Edward. As that thought went through my head, we came to a stop. Looking up, I couldn't help but gasp. Slowly sliding down Jasper's back I felt my feet hit the ground and struggle to stay up right, it didn't work and with a soft flump I was on my butt in the middle of my dream.

It was more beautiful then even my dream had made it. This was no meadow, and it made Edward's meadow look like a spare bit of grass. There was a river running through it that met a waterfall. The flowers were in full bloom and the smell of the wild flowers was intoxicating. A few birds were chirping in the trees above and I found myself relaxing just at the sight. Jasper walked to the edge of the river and let out a deep contented sigh. The sun beamed down on him, casting tiny rainbows in to the water below.

I stood up and walked towards him and he turned to me and smiled. "What do you think darlin?"

I smiled, "I love it. It's really beautiful here. I can't believe this place is real. I'm so glad that you brought me here. Thank you."

He smiled this sexy smirk and the lust I felt for him spiked and I saw his eyes blacken and he arched a brow at me in question. I quickly shook my head to rid myself of these feelings, but it didn't work. In that moment he truly was the beautiful creature from my dreams and I could see clearly just how majestic he was. I wanted him all to myself and I didn't give a damn about the fact that I was in love with Edward and that I was going to be married to him in a little less then two weeks, I was in lust with Jasper.

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**I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you thought and I will send you a teaser wrapped in Jasper. Because remember reviews are like Jasper soaking wet, always wanted and always needed.**


	5. New Feelings for New beginnings

**wow! umm so im sorry doesnt even begin to cut it. writers block and pregnancy have shut my brain down but finally i did it. a new fucking chapter. how proud of me are you all? i will try harder not to do this too you guys again. that is if anyone is even still reading this *hangs head* cuz i would understand if no one was. **

**this is unbeta'd for now. i sent a copy to Jaspers Izzy my beta goddess and she is probably having a shit fit right now finding out that i posted with out her stamp. All errors are mine. for which i'm sure there are many. sorry in advance. i love you Izzy, you know that.**

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New Feelings for New Beginnings

The talk with Bella went better then I thought it would. It wasn't as embarrassing as I was expecting. It was strange, but I felt like I could actually talk to her with out her judging me. I knew she wasn't one to pass judgment easily but that didn't change the fact that I still worried that suddenly she would realize that out of all the Cullen's I was the most dangerous and the biggest monster. Edward thought he was a monster, that boy didn't know what a monster was.

I stayed in my study most of the night thinking over all Bella and I had talked about. Her dreams were driving me nuts, I was sure she was projecting them to me but I was still foggy as to why. The fact that she was dreaming about my meadow clearing confused the hell out of me as well. How did she know about it? I had never talked about it to anyone, though a few knew about it but even if Edward had told her about it she would have never been able to get the details right. The details were scary, she got it perfect, nothing out of place, and nothing changed. Every detail exactly as I remembered it the last time I was there.

I glanced at the clock and realized I had been sitting in my chair for close to five hours just thinking about Bella and her crazy dreams. I moved quickly and quietly up to Bella's room to set an alarm, she had been so tired after our talk that she was likely to sleep all day. We had plans for the day and I didn't want to miss out on spending time with her.

Edward was gone, for now, so I could finally get to know my soon to be "sister in law".

The hours passed and just before eleven my vision clouded, I was in the kitchen making Bella lunch. It was a strange feeling. I couldn't see anything just colors. I saw white and Black, not gray but pure white and the blackest black and I could feel confusion, sorrow, shock and amusement? That emotion was the one that stood out as the one that didn't belong. As quickly as the white and black clouded my vision the black disappeared and was replaced by the most beautiful greens and browns. The feelings of sorrow, shock and amassment replaced with bliss. I could feel the purest love I had even felt and it was almost over whelming. It threatened to take me to my knees as I gripped the side of the sink to keep myself standing. I heard the crack and felt the water hitting me but I couldn't do anything about it. The colors shifted again as did the feelings. Suddenly I was seeing black, white and red but it was the fear that gripped me. I had never been so scared in my life and I had no reason to be. I could hear the beeping from Bella's alarm and suddenly I was released from the all-consuming fear.

I surveyed the damage; bent down to turn off the water then went to cook Bella's lunch. I didn't know how to cook much but grilled cheese and canned tomato soup sounded easy enough. Bella came down right after I finished making lunch. We made some small talk and I went to change my clothing.

After changing cloths three times do to water issues we were finally ready to go. I wanted to get out of the house so bad. It had been a while since I actually had somewhere to be. Other then just hunting, the house had become like my own prison and I never left.

Walking outside I noticed the weather was unseasonable warm. Well anything not cloudy and in the 60s in the summer is unseasonable warm but it actually seamed hot out side. I felt bad for making Bella where long pants but with her clumsiness I thought it best to protect her as best I could. I wasn't Edward, I wasn't going to treat her like a fucking china doll, but I would do what I could to protect her while giving her, her freedom.

We walked out the door but I knew we wouldn't be able to get to where we were going with out me carrying her on my back.

"Ah Bells?" I asked, unsure of how she would react to the question I would have to ask her.

"Yeah Jazz?" She had said Jazz and it made me feel light. I normally hated that nickname but coming from her lips somehow made it ok.

"I know you hate riding on Edward's back, but it's the only way to get to where we are going. Would you mind riding on my back? I promise to keep the run smooth and I wont go as fast as Edward, so it shouldn't make you sick." I could feel her nervousness and it saddened me to know that she was nervous to be around me. Just when I was about to say something to her about not needing to be nervous I was suddenly over come but these feelings of pure bliss and it was the most amazing feeling. I had only ever felt it once before.

"What was that?" I asked once the feelings have subsided.

"Just a dream I had this morning." she said this so quietly that had I not been a vampire I would have missed it.

"A dream huh? Those feelings you were having right there, that was what I was feeling this morning. Well at least the pure bliss part of it." I was a little startled to find out that my little break this morning had been because of Bella's dream. This was quickly becoming strange. Though I use the word loosely because what could be stranger then seeing sex dreams involving yourself and your brother's fiancé?

Bella looked shocked at the idea that I could feel her dream, though really with all that had happened in the last few days you would think nothing would surprise her.

"So wait, you didn't actually see this dream? You just felt it?"

I nodded, "That's how the other ones started too. Have you ever had this dream before?" she shook her head but her confusion and embarrassment kept growing.

"No, it was completely new and unlike anything I had ever dreamt before."

I badly needed to know what this dream was about and why it had caused me to be so angry. I was interested in why I was experiencing pure bliss but not near as much as I wanted to know about the anger. I had to ask if she would tell me about it. I could feel her reluctance but she knew that as long as she kept having the dreams I would eventually see them. That's just the way it worked for some reason.

I squatted down and Bella climbed on my back. I must admit, it felt a little weird. I had never had a human on my back. I had seen Edward do it 100 times and had always wondered how he can keep from being tempted. His reply was always the same, "love," he would say. Sure it was cheesy and I rolled my eyes at him every time. Mentally telling him, he was a pussy. For the first time, I understood what he was saying. I would never hurt Bella because I loved her. I wasn't sure what kind of love to classify it as, it wasn't like Edward's love for her had been in the beginning, but I would say it might have been stronger then the love he currently felt for her. Though I could see how someone could fall in love with this sweet, kind and caring individual I didn't believe myself capable of romantic love anymore. I had never seen Bella, as my sister so it wasn't that of brotherly love, the only classification I could come up with at the time was that of friendship. Bella had shown me compassion and trust when I deserved neither. She forgave me when I should have been held accountable for my actions and she willingly puts herself in danger by being in such close contact with me yet I feel no fear. Only trust, faithfulness and pride. Bella truly was a creature like none other. I felt safe in calling her my friend. The thought of that had my spirits lifting. I had never truly had a friend before. I had Alice and the rest of the family but that was it. No one I could confide in and have it say just between us. No one that truly wanted to know what I felt, instead of wanted to know what the others around me felt. Bella was the first person in a long time to show me that I didn't have to be the *God of war everyone thought I was. I could let my guard down around her, just as she had done to me.

We arrived at my special spot and I allowed Bella to slid down my back. I stayed still till I was sure she had an even foot, though it didn't work and I heard her hit the ground but knew she hadn't hurt herself. She made no motion to get up in stead just stared around in a sort of awed daze. Leaving her to her thoughts I moved to the edge of the water. Somehow I felt different. More light hearted, if it's possible for vampires. The revelations I had just had seemed to have lifted a giant weight from my shoulders that I couldn't explain. It felt good. I felt happy, for the first time in a long time, I wanted to smile, and I had a reason to. The deep contented sigh that escaped my lips seemed to say it all.

I felt Bella get up and move towards where I was standing.

"What do you think, Darlin?" I asked with my contented smile still in place. It seemed a permanent fixture on my face.

She smiled softly looking around, "I love it. It's really beautiful here. I can't believe this place is real. I'm so glad you brought me here. Thank you." She was stammering slightly and it was kind of cute. I had never seen Bella struggle with words. I smirked knowing I had surprised her. The sudden wave of lust that surrounded me nearly brought me to my knees. Bella shock her head to ride her of whatever had caused the lust but it only dulled the emotion slightly. I pushed out some calming emotions, which seemed to help, and when finally I felt, I could walk again, I moved to the base of a tree and slid down it. I had so many questions to ask her and I needed the answers. I knew she had almost none of them, therefore I settled on asking about the dream she had had.

**

I don't know how long we sat under the tree talking, but by the time Bella had explained her dream to me the temperature had fallen slightly and Bella was starting to get hungry.

"Hey," I said, not wanting this day to end. "How about we go back to the house and I take you to get something to eat? I'm sure you're famished by now." Bella blushed slightly, but nodded and got to her feet. I followed and soon we were once again on the move with Bella on my back, legs wrapped around my waist and her nose buried in my neck. It felt oddly nice to be this close to her.

I only stopped running when we got to the garage where my brand new car was waiting for me. It had arrived a few days earlier and hadn't even been out of the garage. Bella walked in and stared at the beautiful bright blue car that stood out between all the gray and black. My baby was a 2010 Lexus ISF with all the top of the line gadgets. It had cost a pretty penny but not near as much as most of the other cars. Sure I was tortured soul, but my car didn't have to be. I smirked and clicked the unlock button. Bella slowly made her way to the passenger side door that I was holding open for her. Sliding slightly on the supple cream leather interior, she stopped herself from sliding onto the floor, for which I was grateful, because there was no way I would have been able to not laugh at her. She buckled herself in and we were off in an instant.

We ended up going to a tiny little hole in the wall café in Port Angeles. The food smelled awful to me but Bella enjoyed it. We didn't talk much on the way to Port Angeles, which allowed me time to reflect on the dream she had told me about. I had been the one to save her, I had been the one waiting for her, and the one she ran to, called to and had embraced and promised to never leave again.

Her dreams confused me, worried me slightly. She was showing me a side of her no one else got to see. I was the only one that knew about these dreams. My dear idiot of a brother was never around to notice that something was going on with "his Bella", he had no clue that the friendship he had expressly forbidden between her and I was coming to fruition and there was nothing he could do about it. He had no idea that she was making me feel things I had never in my vampiric life felt. Feelings that had lain dormant in me as my soul was slowly chiseled away were coming back. I didn't know what it meant, but I wanted to find out, and find out I was going to. Edward be damned, this was my life and Bella was my friend. I wanted to know where all this was leading and what all these special powers of hers meant. I hadn't even figured out what these special powers of hers were.

Bella finished her food and I paid the bill much to Bella's protest. We were on the road and heading to Forks when my cell phone rang. It almost never rings anymore; no one wants to talk to me. I picked it up noticing that it was Carlisle.

"Hey Carlisle," I said, trying to hide my confusion as to why he was calling.

"Jasper, thank god you answered, do you know where Bella is? We haven't seen or heard from her all day and Esme is really worried." His voice was panicked but there was something he wasn't telling me.

"Yeah she's right here with me. She's been with me all day."

"Oh, okay." He said sounding not at all relieved. "Well can you bring her home? Esme got a call from Edward, I guess he is coming home early." I grimaced, this was bad for me.

"Yeah we are on our way home right now. See you in a few." I hung up the phone not even bothering to here his goodbye. I threw my phone in the back seat and slowed my driving, wanting so badly to delay Bella's and my return.

"What did Carlisle want?" this was not the question she had wanted to ask and I knew it.

"He wanted to know where you were and to let us know that Edward was on his way home." The joy I had expected her to feel did not come, instead a bit of sorrow and doubt plagued her emotions. I opened my mouth to say something but was too late, we had arrived home and both Esme and Carlisle were waiting for us in the driveway. We got out of the car and Bella was swept into the house with out a backward glance at me.

I was left standing in between my car and the porch unable to decide what I wanted to do. Esme and Carlisle had feared for Bella's safety, but the knowledge that she had been with me had not abated their fears. I felt the hurt wash over me, knowing my own "parents" didn't trust me was the worst feeling I had ever felt. Worst even then when Alice had left.

I was starting to get pissed and knew I needed to leave the area. I looked up at Bella's window and was shocked to see her standing there. She looked so sad as she touched the window. Someone called her name inside the house and I took it as my cue to run into the forest. I hid behind a tree so she couldn't see me, but I could see her. She looked back at the place where I had been standing and the frown increased on her face. I watched as a single tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly and turned to who ever was talking to her. She looked pissed and was shouting though I couldn't hear her words. She walked out of my line of site and I ran deeper into the forest.

Bella had not been in any danger today; I had made sure of that. Yet my family was so willing to believe I was unstable. Why had I stayed after the breakup of Alice and I? What was so important to me, that I felt the need to be tortured and mistrusted? I was nothing to this family. they had proven it over and over. Time and time again I had been reminded of my faults and never once had anyone said anything about my strengths, as if I had none. Why was this family so important to me? _You know why._ Said a small quiet voice in the back of my mind. I wanted to ignore it, wanted to pretend that what it was insinuating was false but it wasn't. I had stayed for one reason, and only one reason. But it was not a valid reason. Not for me anyway. For the rest of the family, sure, Bella was like their daughter, sister, best friend or lover but she was none of these things to me. At least I had not thought of her that way. Now, now I was not so sure how I felt or what I thought.

I came to a stop some 100 miles way from Forks and fell to the ground. I was so unhappy and I didn't know what to do.

I looked around at my surroundings and noticed this was a place I had not been before. But the smell, I knew that's smell. I looked around; sitting high in a tree was Jake. I had not seen him in months. Not since the fight with the newborns. He had taken off after Bella and Edward had announced their engagement.

"What are you doing here, leech?" he questioned with a sneer in his voice to match his mood.

"Knock it off pup, I'm just here to clear my head." I said and sat down again. Jake jumped down from the branch he was on and sat rather closer to me then I would have liked.

"Yeah," he sighed, "me too."

We sat in silence for at least 2 days. I hadn't moved or said anything. There were times that I wouldn't even notice Jacob sitting next to me. His emotions though were harder to ignore. They crossed the spectrum but sorrow and fear were the most prominent of them. I didn't know why or what made me do it, but I had to know what was bothering him.

"Those are some pretty strong emotions you're throwing around. What to talk about it?" he looked shocked that I would ask him, but shook his head. We went back to silently sitting in the same spot. I had had time to figure out what Bella had meant to me and why I had felt the need to stay close to her, but I was unwilling to voice these reasons.

"Have you ever loved someone you couldn't have?" Jake asked suddenly. I looked up at him shock and annoyance written on my face. He sighed heavily and explained. "I imprinted a few months back, did you know?"

I shook my head and stopped, "you don't mean Be…" I didn't get to finish my sentence because he cut me off.

"No, not Bella."

"Well that's good then right? Imprinting is your guy's way of finding a soul mate yeah?"

"Yeah, only problem is, we can't be together." He took a deep breath and plunged on. "They are getting married to someone else and I can't stop it." That threw me for a loop; the fates seemed to throw Jake as many hard hits in the love department as I had been thrown. Suddenly I could understand him a lot better.

"Yeah," I said quietly, "I know how you feel. But why can't you stop the wedding. Does she love you?"

"Yeah," he said bitterly "But the family wouldn't understand. So we decided to stay apart." Now that just sucked and was clearly a bad idea.

"Jake, man," I said clapping him on the shoulder, I had expected him to recoil from my touch but it relaxed him slightly. "You need to do what is right for you and the one you love. Family be damned. If she is your soul mate then man the fuck up and stop this wedding." With that I got up. It was time I manned up as well. I was going to keep this friendship I had started with Bella even if it meant ripping Edward's stupid head off.

"Where are you going?" Jake asked shocked that I was no longer sitting.

"Where I should be," I said. "Standing next to my only friends side while she decides what to do next in her life. Think about what I said Jake. I'm not a sappy romantic, that's Edward's job, but I'm serious, if she is your true love, that once in a life time mate, then you need to do all you can to stop this wedding." He nodded and I took off back home but more importantly back to Bella.

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***God of war was a term coined by Idreamofeddy im not nearly that smart.**

**you know what comes next. please please please push that little button below and leave a review. Because reviews are like Jaspers sexy little smirk, ALWAYS wanted and ALWAYS needed.**

**check me out on twitter under JasperDarkAngel and be sure to check out Jaspers Darlins at Jaspersdarlins(dot)blogspot(dot)com**


	6. Aries and Atlas

Haha, so I did better this time, yeah? Posting sooner then 4 months . I must admit I am very proud of myself.

I have an announcment to make, one that concerns each and everyone of us with in the fandom. So there as been a lot of in fighting as of late and its leaving a rather sour taste in a lot of authors mouths. Mine being one of them. We have lost some amazing writers do to the fighting and the group I am apart of, Jasper's Darlins, wants to get this fandom back to where it could be! We invite you all to join us on February 1st, 2010 to embibe in the 1st ever Fandom Celebration day. This is a day in which we and a fandom reflect on why we are apart of the world of fan fiction and twilight. Leave notes on your favorite blogs with you positive feelings towards the stories you read and the authors you love. Show people that you care about the world we live in here on FF and twitter and get rid of the negativity.

For more info go to http:// jaspersdarlins(Dot)blogspot(dot)com /2010/01/ fandom-celebration-day(dot)html

Chapter 6

Aries & Atlas

We arrived at the Cullen's house sooner than I would have liked, but it wasn't like I could tell Jasper to just not take me home, though I really did want to. I wasn't as happy as I should have been upon finding out that Edward would be returning home sooner then I though he would. I had gotten used to being alone, to not having him hovering over me. When Jake was home and I was still trying to assert my independence, I was never out of Edward's sight. Now that Jake was gone and the threat of the wolves was non-existent, he didn't seem to care that I was alone.

Why was he coming home so much earlier than I had expected him to? What made him decide that he would finally grace me with his presence? And why wasn't I all that happy about it? I would finally have someone to talk to, to hang out with and just be around. But did I already have that? Hadn't Jasper just shown me that we could be friends, and that maybe he wanted to get to know me just as I wanted to get to know him? Would Edward try and stop us from being friends? I had always gotten the idea that as friendly as Jasper and Edward were with each other maybe, just maybe, there was a little unspoken animosity between them. I often wondered if it had been on Edward's orders that Jasper stayed away from me. Sure, I knew he had control "issues" though I use the term lightly because he had no issues at all today. Truth be told, if his control really was that awful, the simple act of having me near him in the car should have sent him into a frenzy, but it didn't and I had gotten a lot closer to him earlier in the day. Even Edward had a hard time dealing with me on his back. He told me so, said it was a struggle just to have me close to him, yet Jasper had no problems. So how bad was his control really?

Jasper brought the car to a stop in front of a stressed looking Carlisle and a worried looking Esme. We both got out of the car at the same time but I was suddenly pulled away. I wanted so badly to turn and tell Jasper what a wonderful time I had, that I would love to do it again if he would like, but I couldn't. The death grip Esme had on me, prevented me from turning around. Jasper didn't follow us into the house; instead he just stood outside, looking more shocked and saddened then I was.

When Esme let go of me, I rounded on her.

"What did you do that for?" I asked, trying desperately to keep the anger out of my voice but I wasn't sure I pulled it off. Esme didn't pay attention to or notice my anger; she simply waved away my question saying Jasper was dangerous and that I needed to stay away from him. I was so pissed I simply walked away from her. Seething with anger I slowly walked up the stairs to my bedroom. The room was just the same as it had always been but in that moment, I hated it more then anything. _How can a family be so caring and kind to everyone, yet treat one of their own so poorly?_ If that was the way they were going to treat Jasper I wasn't sure I wanted to be a part of it. Jasper was a person, vampire or not. He deserved to be treated like he had feelings and not like a ticking time bomb.

I walked over to the window, wanting so badly to be out of this house. Jasper was still standing where I had left him and he looked so sad. My hand rose automatically to the window, wishing there was no glass so that I could jump from this living hell I had suddenly found myself in. Esme walked in at that point in time.

"Bella, I know you don't understand, but Jasper can't be trusted. I promised I would keep you away from him." I was seething again; she had _promised_! Promised Edward no doubt. Well that pain in the ass vampire would be getting a piece of my mind when I saw him. A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it, when I had noticed that Jasper had left. The family had abandoned him and he had left. Would he return?

"Bella? Bella did you hear me? Please try to understand." Was she kidding? I turned around to face her; my face was contorted in rage.

"Try to understand you say?" I shouted not caring that her face looked like I had slapped it. "I _am_ trying to understand! I want to understand how you and Carlisle, two of the most caring people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, could treat Jasper the way you do! Don't look at me like that; you know very well that Jasper is no danger to me. He proved that to me today when he had me on his back. Yeah that's right," I said at the shocked look on Esme's face. "Jasper took me into the woods, I rode on his back. So what! Nothing happened. His eyes weren't red; I'm standing right here, so clearly his control better then you want to believe. So no, I don't understand. And another thing, get out of my room. I don't want to talk to or see either of you, until you pull your heads out of your asses. Feel free to tell Edward that too. NOW GET OUT!" I yelled and turned back to the window.

I heard the click of the door and slowly fell to the floor. I couldn't explain why I was so emotional. Jasper and I weren't all that close but I felt like he and I were closer then any of the other Cullen's. Maybe it was the dreams that I was having. Maybe they were trying to tell me something, though what I couldn't figure out. I must have cried myself to sleep that night. Because the dream I had was like none I had ever had before.

_It was dark and damp. I didn't know where I was but I knew I was alone. Placing my hand out in front of me I started to walk, it seemed I was in a long corridor. As I continued to walk I started to see a little light to my left and decided to follow it. I could see a man standing at the exit, as if waiting for me. I started to run, hoping that this man was a friend. As I reached out for him he vanished and I was back at the beginning of the corridor. "He's not coming for you." A soft melodic voice rang out behind me and I spun on the spot. The man was tall, with long dark hair. There was a light behind him that caused his face to be cast in shadows. I knew that voice but I couldn't place it. "He's not coming for you," the voice said again. "You're not good enough for him. He doesn't want you. Forget about him, Jasper has made his choice. Face it, you're not it. Why don't you get comfortable? You're going to be here a long time." The voice was cold and harsh and laughing a mirthless laugh. I tried to run, but I was chained to the wall. I watched as the faceless man slithered back it to the shadows as I started to scream and struggle against the chains._

"Bella! Bella wake up!" Carlisle's panicked voice pulled me out of my dream. I saw him and Esme standing around me but no Jasper. Jasper hadn't come home or he didn't want to see me, and this thought broke the damn of tears that had been threatening to spill over since the start of the dream. I couldn't understand why this dream had changed so much, why he had not come for me when in all other dreams he had always been there. What had changed? What had planted this seed of doubt in my mind that Jasper didn't want to be my friend? Did Jasper see this dream like he had all the others? Where was he? Was he coming back? I sobbed harder still into Carlisle's shoulder as he picked me up and placed me on the bed.

"Bella, sweetie, is this about Jasper?" Esme asked. I couldn't confirm it because something in me was telling me not to. "We are sorry for the way we reacted. We know Jasper would never hurt you intentionally and clearly we were wrong about his control." It felt nice to hear Esme admit that she had been wrong, and it helped me stop crying.

"When Jasper gets home, we will tell him so," Carlisle told me and I couldn't help the smile that graced my face.

"So he's coming home? Do you know when?" I asked sounded way too eager.

"I'm sure he'll be home soon. He probably just needed to hunt. Now go back to sleep, it's the middle of the night." Esme tucked me in to my bed and then both of them left.

I fell into an uneasy sleep but didn't have any dreams. When I awoke my body was relaxed and comfortable but my mind was anything but. Why had I reacted the way I had to my dream? What did I care if Jasper wasn't coming home? I rolled over and almost fell out of bed when I saw Edward sitting on my bed, exactly where Jasper had sat a few days ago.

"Oh Edward," I said placing my hand over my heart, "You scared the hell out of me." Edwards face fell slightly, probably not liking my use of the word hell. He was always such a goody-two-shoes.

"I'm sorry my love, I didn't mean to scare you. Didn't Carlisle and Esme tell you I was coming home?"

"Oh yeah, they told me, I just wasn't expecting you to be sitting at the end of my bed." I said as I crawled out from under my covers to give him a hug.

"Umm Bella?" he asked tentatively, "Why do you smell like Jasper?" I grimaced at this question. I knew Edward would not like my answer. I jumped off the bed mumbling under my breath that Jasper and I had been hanging out yesterday. I was over the dresser getting new clothing out when Edward seemed to understand what I had said.

"You and Jasper were hanging out? Bella don't you know how DANGEROUS that is!" he shouted.

"No Edward, clearly I don't. Why don't you enlighten me? You know what, only leave out all the "_his control is awful_" and "_he could kill you_" SHIT that you gave me about Jacob, because it didn't work then and it sure as hell isn't going to work now. So I suggest you figure out a new speech while I'm taking a shower." With that I shut the dresser drawer, grabbed my clothes and stomped into the bathroom, making sure the door slammed in Edward's face.

My shower wasn't nearly as long as I would have liked and going back out to Edward didn't appeal to me either, but I knew I had to. I walked out of the bathroom fully dressed and brushing my hair. Edward hadn't moved from the edge of my bed but his face has an apologetic look to it, he sighed as he watched me move closer to him.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I know I over reacted, I just… I just worry about you." He said slightly defeated.

"I understand this Edward, I do, but you're not around much anymore. No one is! I haven't heard from Alice in over a month. God I don't even get glares and death looks from Rose because both her and Emmett are gone. Jasper and Esme are the only ones around. All Esme wants to do is talk about the wedding and you know me, I don't care. We could go down to the courthouse right now in what we are wearing and I would be happy. So yesterday Jasper said he wanted to show me something and I thought "hey I can finally get to know my soon to be brother-in-law as well as get out of the house, what's wrong with that?" I didn't think my over protective fiancé would have an issue with me getting to know his brother and BEST MAN! I mean god Edward, cut Jasper some slack. He doesn't deserve to be treated like trash. This family treats him worse then you all treat Jake!" I huffed as I finally came to an end to my rather long speech.

"Yeah well Jasper has actually tried to hurt you, and to my knowledge Jake hasn't." I stared in pure disbelief at what he had said. He had actually just defended the mistreatment of Jasper while defending not treating the pack as badly. I was so mad I just walked out if the bedroom and didn't say anything.

"Bella wait," Edward said, suddenly standing in front of me. "I'm sorry. I just worry about you. I promise to give Jasper the benefit of the doubt ok?" I nodded.

"It's all I ask Edward, really just treat him as if he belongs in the family. Plus don't freak out if I want to be his friend, he's really sweet."

"Okay Bella, I'll try." Picking me up from were I stood he threw me over his shoulder and raced down the stairs me squealing a long the way. "Now come on, I missed you and I want to spend time with my loving and beautiful fiancé. Let's watch a movie. I'll make you breakfast and we can just stay in and snuggle. How's that sound?" he asked as he plopped me on the couch.

"That sounds perfect," I said, trying to contain the giggles that his playful demeanor had brought on.

"Alright, pick out a movie and I'll be right back with food for the human." And with that he was gone, and I got up to find a movie. I heard his phone ring quietly and heard him tell them that he couldn't talk right now. That he was making breakfast for me and that he would be "there" as soon as he could. This confused me slightly, but I figured it was just that family business he has thought he had finished maybe hadn't been finished. Edward came back with a full plate of pancakes; eggs and sausage with a grave look on his face.

"Hey I've got to go out again. Some of the business wasn't set up correctly I'll be gone for a few days, ok?" I nodded not saying anything. It wasn't all that shocking that he was leaving but I had hopped he would stay a little longer. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you," he said kissing me on the head and giving me a hug.

"I love you too, Edward. Hurry back."

**

Edward had left, again, so the Cullen House had been silent for a few days. Esme and Carlisle had decided to give Edward and I our own space, but it turned out we didn't really need it. I was bored out of mind and all I could think about was Jasper. I wondered where he was and if he was coming back. I missed him. He had been so helpful in wiping away my boredom and with the wedding in less then 3 days I was starting to get a little antsy as well. I could have used a Jasper chill pill right about then.

I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the next few days without Jasper. He had become my friend and I needed him to take my mind off the wedding. Jakes words, "_You're making a mistake Bella. He left once, what's to stop him from leaving again_?" kept popping into my head and I needed some way to take my mind off of it.

I was sitting on my bed when my phone rang. I reached over and opened the phone without looking to see who was on the other end.

"Bella, stop worrying. I'm on my way home to start setting up for the wedding. I'll be there in 2 days." Alice's chipper singsong voice rang through the phone and I felt my stomach clench.

"Alice! Can't you come home sooner? I'm so bored."

"Bella I can't, why are you so bored? I would imagine that Esme and Edward are keeping you very busy."

"Esme and Carlisle aren't here, they left a few days ago and Edward had some family business to go on. It's just me. Even Jasper left." There was a defining silence from Alice's end.

"I didn't see any of this. I wonder why? Alright, I'm heading home now, I'll be there in a day and a half."

I hung up the phone after a quick goodbye. Dropping the phone on the table, I walked over to the window; a spot I had stood in many times over the course of the 4 days Jasper had been gone. I had a perfect view of his car. It had stayed parked where he had left it. No one had bothered to remove it from the driveway, so it was caked with dirt and dust from the rains. It felt like a symbol for everything that _they_ had done to Jasper over the years. No one trusted him to stick to _their_ diet. Edward was convinced that Jasper was a monster as did Jasper, and in his opinion, Alice leaving had confirmed what everyone had known all along. To them, Jasper didn't belong in this life. He was better off on his own, where he could find people that treated him the right way. He could live the way he was meant to live and no one would judge him. So why was he so willing to stay and be a doormat? Did he believe he didn't belong anywhere else, or did he truly believe the Cullen's were the best he could do? Jasper was Better than all of them put together. He had overcome more then any of them put together. He had gone from a human drinking Master of War, to a vegetarian vampire, all because the vampire he had loved wanted to be apart of that life. It took a lot of strength to overcome the impulses he had been taught to indulge in, and yet, he did it and continues to do it on a daily basis. He walks around with the weight of the world's emotions on his shoulder and never complains. Jasper was Aries and Atlas all rolled into one and no one gave him credit for all he had over come.

The movement of the trees caught my eyes just as I was about to walk away from the window. As if on cue Jasper slowly emerged from the trees. I took off out of my room and down the hall as fast as my legs would go. He had returned. Down the 3 flights of stairs, I knew I was being reckless but I didn't care. Around the corner towards the door and smacked my leg on the edge of something sharp but didn't let it slow me down. I ripped open the door and barreled into Jasper as he walked up the porch. I must have caught him off guard because he staggered back off the porch but caught himself before he fell.

"Oh Jasper," I said as I buried my face into his chest, "I'm so glad you're home." The words came out a little muffled and made him laugh. His laugh was a wonderful sound, slightly deep and melodic.

"Me too Darlin, me too," He said as he pulled me away from him slightly. I looked into his eyes shocked at how dark they are and stepped back from him. He must have read my emotions because he pointed to my leg and said, "You're bleeding sugar," his voice had a slight growl to it. I wasn't sure what I should do. But my options were limited.

My leg was indeed bleeding and it wasn't a tiny cut either. A simple band-aid would not stop this bleeding. I needed Carlisle for this wound and he was nowhere around. Jasper slowly moved closer to me as I moved backwards. My back hit the side of the house and I knew I was stuck.


	7. There is only Pain in Truth

**Im not going to apologize for taking FOREVER to post this chapter. there is no excuse you want to hear from me other then i know i suck. i have two other chapters finished and ready to be typed up and hopefully they will be out soon.**

**I want to thank my goddesses and FF BFF's for kicking my ass into gear. this chapter had been written for 3 months but with the help of my girls Jaspers Izzy and Megara Megumi and a WC i got this chapter typed in a total of 2.5 hours (i hand write this story for some odd reason).**

**Jaspers Izzy was my beta on this chapter and she is an amazing goddess that deserves praise for all she does for me. i would be lost without her.**

**Now, if i still have any readers, i hope you enjoy.**

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Chapter 7

There is only Pain in Truth

Leaving Bella so soon after I had arrived made me feel like shit. I hadn't been around enough as it was, and then to know that my family was also away for the weekend, made me feel that much more like the pile the of crap I truly was.

Bella was stuck in the Cullen House all by herself, thinking that her fiancé, the one that loved her, was off finishing some family business. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but it didn't seem to matter. I did love Bella, just not in the way I had used to.

There was a time when the thought of being away from her caused me great pain. Though, not anymore. I had once thought she was my soul mate, the one that I would spend the rest of her days with, and had once gone so far as to try and join her in the after life when I had thought she was dead, but I had found my true soul mate in another.

It had not been on purpose, of that I can assure you. I had no idea that the fight with the newborns, the fight to save the love of my life, would bring me a new love. I had not expected to find a true soul mate when I had thought I had already found one, nor did I think that Bella could possibly be the path to my true love.

She had meant so much to me, she still did. I was ready to give up the life I wanted with my true love just to keep Bella happy. Even though I was willing to do this, I couldn't get the little voice out of the back of my head that kept asking, "Was I keeping her happy? Or was I doing it just to prevent myself from looking like the double crossing lying jerk I truly was?" I couldn't help but question my motives. Was I marrying Bella to keep her happy or to keep myself from looking bad?"

I had been living this lie for six months without a second thought. Six months of a triple life and no one, not even my love, knew what kind of pain it had been causing me. Lying and cheating, sneaking around and walking all over Bella's trust, wasn't something I ever would have thought I was capable of, but all that changed during the fight with the newborns.

Suddenly my life shifted. I'm still the tortured soul everyone had come to expect. Though it had gotten better once Bella came into my life, but it had gotten worse over the months, my guilt of everything that had happened was eating me alive. My whole family had noticed how sullen i had become and Emmett had decided to change my name to Emoward. I guess he had noticed the despair I had been feeling, but the fact still remained that none of them truly understood just how tortured I had become.

I stopped running and sat down in a small clearing. It was the same one we had had the baseball game all those months ago. An odd sensation washed over me as I lay down on the ground. I was in the exact place where everything I had known had changed. I had just started to accept Bella into my life when they walked into my life.

Goddamn nomads always fucking shit up. Two years ago James, Laurent and Victoria had started in motion a chain of events even Alice couldn't have foresee. It took everything the Cullen's and I had ever known and threw it out the window.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have never been in that clearing that fateful day. _But would that really have prevented what I was going through now from happening? _The answer was a definite no! My true love would have still come into my life but maybe I would have been able to resist the pull. Though truth be told I doubted that I would have been able to resist the pull. It was just too strong. I had tried for months to break its grip on me to remain with Bella, but I was weak and the desire won in the end. The truth of the matter was, when you find that person you are meant to be with, nothing, not even heaven or hell can keep you from them.

_Heaven and Hell!_ I laughed out loud at the analogy I had used to describe why I couldn't stay away. The simple fact was I was headed for hell, no doubt in my mind. If not for the simple fact that I am a vampire, and it was where I belonged, then surely for what I was putting Bella through.

"I thought I might find you here." The smooth melodic voice of the one I loved broke me from my musings and caused me to jump, _so much for vamperic hearing._ The sweet voice turned into a ringing gale of laughter.

"Shut up!" I said in mock anger, I never could stay mad for long. The laughter slowly died away as the face of its owner turned stoic and serious.

"Sorry Babe, you must have been really deep in thought not to have heard me coming. Whatcha thinkin' bout so hard?" I sighed as one word slipped through my lips.

"Bella." A deep sigh came from the spot next to me as my love lay beside me on the grass. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me close, into a tight hug. I remained face up looking at the cloudy sky, willing it to rain. I wanted the heavens to weep for my pain, as I was unable to shed a single tear.

"Yeah, Me too," said the voice beside me. "I don't like this Edward. I understand why it has to be this way, but don't you think Bella deserves better?" Bella did deserve better, they both did, but neither of them were going to get better. It all came down to the fact that I was a coward. A yellow bellied, chicken shit coward. Bella would get my eternal life, but the one beside me would have my undead heart for the rest of my time on this earth.

I stood up quickly, breaking the embrace more forcefully then I had intended. Not for the first time was I grateful that my love was not a fragile human like Bella. The force of my standing would have ripped her arms off, effectively killing her. I looked down into the hurt and startled face of my beloved and felt my stone heart break that much more.

"I'm sorry my love, but this is how it has to be. I'm marrying Bella in two days and nothing can change that. I love you more then life itself, but I can't hurt Bella anymore. She doesn't deserve this from either of us." I leaned down and pulled my love up and kissed, for the last time, the soft pouty lips I loved so much. "I have to go."

Those were the last words uttered in the clearing. I didn't allow time from a response. I started running as soon as I released my love. I ran for over an hour with no destination in mind. I knew I wasn't being followed. Eventually I broke down and let the dry sobs rip from my stone, dead heart somewhere in Canada. I hated how the emotions took over, but I needed to let my pain and sorrow out. It was eating me up inside knowing what I was doing to the people that loved and trusted me. I wasn't just hurting Bella and my love, but when all of this comes out, because at some point it will, my whole family will be hurt by my lies and deceit.

The dry sobs took over my body like an earthquake. There was no way I was doing the right thing. _How could I be doing the right thing? If this was the right choice why did it feel so wrong?_ I could walk away from Bella, its not like she's in any danger. There were no more bloodthirsty vampires out to kill her; my family with the help of the mutts had put a stop to that.

However, the Vultori were expecting her to be turned. I was sure they would be visiting soon to check up on me to make sure I made good on Alice's promise. I knew that they would kill her if they visited again and found her human. So yes, I thought I was doing the right thing, but deep down inside it felt so wrong .

How could I turn her, condemn her to this life when I was no longer in love with her? I was stealing her life to make myself feel better or some stupid shit like that. I knew she wanted this but would she still want it after she found out what a liar I have become? I was stuck! I had no way out of this. Make Bella a vampire and hope that she will eventually forgive me or allow the Vultori to kill her. I was doing the best I could. I had made this mess and I was determined to make this situation as right as I could. I was going to marry Bella. She was what was important, her happiness mattered, not mine.

It was a few hours before the dry sobs released me and I was able to get up and finally return to the task at hand. I had to get back to Bella. I had to put this right. I had made my choice and it was time for me to face the music. Maybe in time I could learn to re-love Bella, but I know that if I needed to learn to re-love that it was a lost cause.

I'm not a complete idiot, though to be quiet honest, if an outsider were to examine my actions of the past few years, I am sure they would disagree and call me worse things then an idiot. The fact still remained that I didn't want to have to learn to love her again. I wished I still loved her, but I didn't. I didn't want to hurt her, and I silently prayed Emmett never found out what I had done, I knew for a fact what he would do to me if he found out. He had the most vivid imagination of any vampire or human I had ever met, and I had seen many times what he would do to me if I ever hurt Bella again.

I had only taken one step forward; on my way to a life I was dreading, when my phone beeped. I pulled it out and was shocked to see that I had two text messages. One from the person I had left my heart with which had three simple words, "I love you." The other was from Alice informing me that she would be at the house in 6 hours. I started running.

The wedding was so close; Alice coming back meant crunch time. I would have no opportunity to see my beloved; I had said my goodbyes in the clearing. That would have to do.

The run from Canada to Forks helped to take my mind off of my impending doom and allowed me to clear my head. It was nice to run without thought, to wipe all my fears, doubts and cares away. It was a luxury I was so rarely afforded. The only problem was the run wasn't long enough. Before I knew it, I was in the woods behind my house. I came to a sudden stop; the smell of blood hit me like the force of a MAC truck. I knew that smell; I had tasted that blood before. My body wanted it, it craved it. _Bella!_ Bella was bleeding in a house of vampires.

I crept closer to the house being sure to remain undercover in case someone was around. I only picked up one other scent in the air. Sandalwood, vanilla, mint and apples with a hit of cinnamon. It was a scent I knew all too well. _Jasper._ My guard was up the instant I smelled him. If Bella was bleeding and he was around, he would surly have been the cause or at the very least the cause of her demise.

I could see him clearly from where I was standing but what stopped me from rushing in and saving Bella, was the fact that for the first time in six months, I could hear Jasper's thoughts.

"_Jasper, stay cool. Bella is your friend. She's not something to eat." _He kept repeating these words over and over. His control was the best I had ever seen it. He was stronger then I had given him credit for. He was however, concentrating solely on not attacking Bella because there was no way in hell I would be able to stand this close to him and have him not know it. He was a master of wars and a man that held the weight of the world on his shoulders. That is not the kind of man you sneak up on and yet, I being the fool that I was, was doing just that. Jasper was determined not to hurt Bella.

I stayed in the shadows as I crept closer; ready to step in if I had to. Part of me knew that if Jasper did attack Bella all my problems would be gone, but it wasn't even an option. Bella didn't deserve that fate and Jasper didn't deserve that guilt on his conscience. He has clearly been doing so much better, and Bella practically screamed her head off begging me to trust Jasper.

"Just go inside and get Carlisle's bag. You can do this Jazz, I have faith in you." Bella's voice brought me back to the dangers of the situation at hand. I stood in shock as Bella defiantly placed a hand on my brothers cheek and she spoke more slowly making sure he was truly understanding what she was saying to him, "I have faith in you Jasper. You can beat the hunger. You are stronger than it." At her touch Jasper relaxed but her words gave him hope. I could feel it radiating off of him. I was jealous that she had these effects on him. I had always been so tense under her touch; afraid I was going to hurt her. But her presence didn't seam to bother him. He was as calm and relaxed around her as I was around… It can't be, can it? Could all my problems really be solved that easily?

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**Still think Y'all know who edward is sleeping with? click that button down there and tell me what you think :) you all should have it figured out soon. im leaving hints for you EVERYWHERE.**


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